What a name, what a name, WHAT A NAME! How could we NOT dig into the life story of a Hollywood nobleman with a horror movie last name? And name aside, this randy life-of-the party treasure has a suave, cigar smoking headshot on his tombstone.
The Baron is compelling and he’ll pull you in, even if you have no idea who he is. And let’s face it- no one reading this has any idea who he is. A lover of life and friend to many, The Baron Clement Von Franckenstein’s epitaph reads, “Actor-Bon Vivant - Gentleman: Most Lovable of Friends”. This character actor and playboy found his way into hearts of many and also found himself steadily working in a town where that is not always easy to do. The Baron Clement Von Franckenstein had noble blood and a noble heart, and finding out about his life and exploits for this episode was so much fun. He is truly the most likable of dead people.
Though you may not realize it, you probably saw him in various film roles. The parts played by the baron were typically small, but the verve he brought to his roles was always big and grandiose.
It was especially fun for me to recently spot Clem in the very beginning of “Death Becomes Her”. It’s spooky season after all, and I was revisiting the campy classic with my husband, Jesse. Jesse left the room shortly after I pressed play, deciding that it was imperative to make popcorn. Slightly annoyed, I paused the film right at the point that we see the outside of the broadway theatre that Meryl Streep is performing in and a bunch of annoyed audience members bailing on her mediocre show. When I paused, the names of the actors in the scene showed up in my freeze frame and there he was: Clement Von Franckenstein. He’d removed his title from his name in the credits, as he often did throughout his career. I rewound and found him to be a quickly passing figure in a trench coat, complaining about Meryl’s performance and hailing a cab. Small as this role was, when you think about how many roles he acquired in major films throughout his career, it’s really quite impressive. He was a working actor’s actor, and though you’d think of a baron as someone who might turn his nose up at tiny one liner roles, good old Clem never did. He was happy to be working and may have been the humblest of nobles that ever was.
He loved women though never officially married or even named a partner in his life. Perhaps his kitty cat Tallulah (who died just months before Clem himself) was the only female with whom he was willing to share a home.
But Clem clearly had dear chosen family and friends and a wealth of stories that added a fair amount of comedy to his obituaries. There were the two younger women who both claimed they were his girlfriend at his funeral. There was the wild story about what can only be described as “dick brandy”. And there was his admission to posing for a photo with two models while trying to hide his erection (he didn’t do a great job of it, by the way).
Clem was a bon vivant alright, and I’m sure he’s laughing heartily and ashing his cigar on all of us from heaven as we speak. He was a cad and a playboy, perhaps, but he was also without a doubt the most lovable of friends.
If you haven’t listened to the episode just yet, please do! Clem is a treat. It is available for listening here on Substack (with a full list of sources and the episode transcript) and also wherever you get your podcasts.
You can also follow us on instagram at @deadandkindoffamous to see us show our respects at every grave we discuss. See you next time! - Courtney
I dated Clem a couple of times a few years before his passing. I found him to be sweet and a little sad, but tragically a man out of his time when it came to what constituted gentlemanly behavior around women.
Tallulah was a force to be reckoned with. I was not surprised that Clem followed her soon after her passing.
I'm glad to have known them both, however briefly, and I grieve what might have been if only he'd treated me with more respect for my person. But he gave me a gift which I will always cherish: He told me I was beautiful, and somehow I actually believed him.